It’s important to note from the outset that in this particular waltz, Brando doesn’t take the lead. That task is assigned to Bernard Judge, an architect the actor engaged to develop an environmentally friendly village on Tetiʻaroa, a Polynesian island he purchased after filming Mutiny on the Bounty. In this role, Jon Heder narrates the film and occasionally speaks directly to the camera to regale us with stories of his time with Brando. While these no doubt proved to be amusing tales for Judge’s dinner guests, they are not enough to sustain a feature film.

​

Amongst the practical hurdles Judge must overcome to fulfill his brief is an impenetrable reef, precarious finances and hitherto undiscovered cultural artefacts. Yet the most difficult obstacle to navigate is his client. Despite his best intentions, Brando’s ever-changing concept of his idyllic sanctuary puts the whole project in jeopardy. Just as problematic are the actor’s suggestions to improve Tetiʻaroa’s sustainability, from harnessing the power of electric eels to turning urine into drinkable water.

​

The sole reason for watching this film is Billy Zane’s performance as Marlon Brando. In the time made available to him, Zane presents an entertaining portrait of what the enigmatic actor was like away from the screen. In front of the camera, Zane uncannily matches Brando’s roles in The Godfather and Last Tango in Paris and his appearance on ‘The Dick Cavett Show’. However, it is a supporting part. Judge’s story, which is the biopic’s main concern, devolves into a series of unfortunate events that lead nowhere.

​

It's a missed opportunity, for on the back of Zane’s portrayal, Waltzing with Brando coulda been a contender. Instead, it is little more than a disjointed collection of anecdotes.​